I wanna be his substitute girlfriend His permanent substitute girlfriend There happens to be Someone in front of me That he likes better That happens to be Out of his league And then he'll turn to me And I wanna be His substitute girlfriend Any day I feel no shame In fact I kind of like it this way It takes the pressure off me To be the one that fulfils him Who fulfils his dream Of what love should be If he has a bad day He can blame it on her And I go free I wanna be his substitute girlfriend His permanent substitute girlfriend How bad can it be? He is there in the morning To drink the morning tea And though I'm rarely Mentioned in his dreams He doesn't lie or cheat Or have a bad breath And what else do you need? As for other men and me I have just stopped They're so much time And energy I wanna be His substitute girlfriend Any day I feel no shame In fact I kinda like it this way